She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
