U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
