Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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