I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
