Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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