I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
