So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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