didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My friends, they love my intelligence
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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