So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
