so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
