we have officially lost it.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize