Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
