I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
