You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
