Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
