I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
