he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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