Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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