When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
