hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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