My room smells like vodka and shame
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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