Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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