dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
