Your tits are I can't wait for
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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