Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize