i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
