I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
