i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
