doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My hand turned me down
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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