I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my being single is dangerous.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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