Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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