Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
