We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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