life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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