good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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