Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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