You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
