Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
