Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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