is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
