I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
