Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
