Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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