I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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