we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
