U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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