he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
