thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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