I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
