Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
