question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
