Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
