I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the condom got lost in my hair
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize