i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
