You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
