There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
