He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
