it was like eating out sand paper
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
