I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
