I love black thongs
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
