Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Randomize
