How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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