why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
