he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
