he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
