I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize