i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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