Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
